Tag Archives: art
August 31, 2015 Reel Fashion – Paula John’s CELLULOID DRESS
“One hundred new revolutionary materials riot in the piazza, demanding to be admitted into the making of womanly clothes.” -Volt, Futurist Manifesto Of Women’s Fashion (1920)
Gallery 1313 is excited to have Paula John’s Celluloid Dress on display in the Windowbox for September 2015.
Celluloid Dress plays with the relationship between two technologies that creator Paula John uses in her art practice – sewing and 16mm celluloid filmmaking. Inspired in part by Volt’s “Futurist Manifesto of Women’s Fashion,” this wearable dress is made from over 250 feet of exposed 16mm film from one of John’s own films and nylon mesh. LEDs stitched into the skirt illuminate individual frames and project the images onto nearby surfaces for a truly stunning effect.
This amazing piece will be on exhibit in the Windowbox for September, during the period when the city’s attention turns to film with the Toronto International Film Festival. Celluloid Dress will provide viewers with an entirely different twist on what film can be, and stimulate their imaginations to consider other uses and convergences for familiar technologies.
Paula John is a multi-disciplinary artist and scholar based in Toronto. She has been exhibiting her work (including photography, film, textiles, installation, and performance) since 2003. She holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in Photography, and a Master of Fine Arts degree in Documentary Media from Ryerson University, and a Master of Arts degree in Communication and Culture from York University. Some of the themes explored in her work include, gender, sexuality, feminism, and performance. Paula is currently working towards a Ph.D. in Theatre and Performance Studies at York University.
Paula will be giving an Artist’s Talk at the reception on Sunday, September 13th from 3-5 p.m. This will be an excellent opportunity to meet a unique artist and view one of the results of her creative vision.
-Lisa Anita Wegner, Windowbox co-curator for Gallery 1313
Artist Statement
Celluloid Dress is a performance-based installation that combines the mediums of sewing and 16mm filmmaking to explore the numerous similarities between the two technologies. I was inspired by the early twentieth century Avant-garde art movement Futurism, and in particular the 1920 Futurist Manifesto of Women’s Fashion by Vincenzo Fani (Volt). In it he declares,
Women’s fashion has always been more or less Futurist. Fashion: the female equivalent of Futurism. Speed, novelty, courage of creation… Fashion is an art, like architecture and music…Women’s fashion can never be extravagant enough… The reign of silk in the history of female fashion must come to an end, just as the reign of marble is now finished in architectural constructions. One hundred new revolutionary materials riot in the piazza, demanding to be admitted into the making of womanly clothes. We fling open wide the doors of the fashion ateliers to paper, cardboard, glass, tinfoil, aluminum, ceramic, rubber, fish skin, burlap, oakum, hemp, gas, growing plants, and living animals.[1]
The Futurists valued speed, dynamism and new technologies, and were interested in transforming all sensory aspects of life. This extended to art, literature, music, food, architecture, and even fashion. In the spirit of the Futurists I developed a project in which I could combine two technologies that I use in my art practice: sewing and filmmaking. I merged the two technologies by first sewing a dress out of film. The handmade dress was sewn entirely out of 16mm celluloid film and nylon mesh, using approximately 250 feet of one of my films. I stitched LEDs into the skirt, which illuminate individual frames and project the images onto nearby surfaces. I then physically linked the two technologies in a performance, using a film loop to connect the sewing machine and the projector.
There are a number of similarities between sewing and 16mm film making, the most explicit being that Singer, the leading manufacturer of sewing machines, also made 16mm projectors. There are also parallels between the machines themselves. Both a sewing machine and a projector are threaded; both machines have a spool and a take up; both machines make similar sounds; tension is important; and the presser foot and the film gate serve essentially the same purpose on their respective machines. Even the movements of the machines reflect each other with the spinning of the reels and of the balance wheel. The process of editing a film is also similar to sewing, where shots are stitched together. The type of 16mm filmmaking that I personally engage in shares strong similarities with the act of sewing. Both processes take place within my home at the kitchen table. Both sewing and analog filmmaking are highly tactile and laborious practices where the physicality of the medium is emphasized.
For the performance aspect of the piece I project a copy of that same film through a 16mm projector on a continuous loop. The film loops through the projector and physically moves throughout the space through the use of pulleys attached to the ceiling. Approximately fifteen feet in front of the projector sits a sewing machine, which has been modified to add a film gate, allowing the film to pass through it on its loop. During the performance, I sit at the machine while wearing the film dress and sew the film as the projector drives it forward. The film is projected on both the sewing machine and my body, and as I sew, holes are punctured in the celluloid abstracting the image. Eventually through this process as more and more holes are punctured in the film the filmstrip is completely destroyed and breaks apart.
Bio
Paula John is a multi-disciplinary artist and scholar based in Toronto. She has been exhibiting her work (including photography, film, textiles, installation, and performance) since 2003. She holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in Photography, and a Master of Fine Arts degree in Documentary Media from Ryerson University, and a Master of Arts degree in Communication and Culture from York University. Some of the themes explored in her work include, gender, sexuality, feminism, and performance. Paula is currently working towards a Ph.D. in Theatre and Performance Studies at York University.
[1] Volt, . “Futurist Manifesto of Women’s Fashion.” Trans. Array Futurism: An Anthology. . 1st ed. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2009. 253-54. Print.
Tags: art, art exhibition, art gallery, Canadian Art, celluloid, dress, exhibition, fashion, feminist, gallery 1313, lisa anita wegner, paula john, performance, performance art, tiff, Toronto, women filmmakers, Women’s Fashion, York University
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August 1, 2015 Art Saves Lives: Therapy Art by Angela Chao and Lisa Anita Wegner
Art Saves Lives is the first joint exhibition of Angela Chao and Lisa Anita Wegner, two visual artists whose work grew out of brain injuries they had experienced. Angela suffered a concussion at her work on a film set, while Lisa lives with post-traumatic stress disorder. 
They connected over their art being the way out of their personal traumas, allowing them to both function and stay connected to their true selves. They share an understanding of art as something they need on a daily basis to nourish their souls, and are so simpatico on this, that they refer to themselves as each other’s “Brain Buddies.”
Angela and Lisa are eager to share their stories and their art, helping to spread awareness to others that art is a very real therapeutic option.
Come to see their show of paintings, post-production photography and collage now on display at the gallery at Richview Library: and visit their website at artsaveslives.ca.
After a concussion curtailed her first career, ANGELA CHAO discovered cranio-therapy and found herself able to think freely and begin to escape the personality and mental changes, PTSD, depression and anxiety that had plagued her since her accident. Even more exhilarating, she could sit still and accomplish things, an ability that had been taken from her. She started doodling and discovered her hidden artist, and a place where she can leave behind mental challenges and be free to create.
In her new career as an artist, she has already won an award at the Art Square gallery where her work premiered, as well as Flight Centre’s first prize of a trip to New Zealand and Australia in a competition with 1800 artists. She recently competed in Art Battle 2015, and has donated her artwork to an AIDs charity event at TIFF. In addition, her unique story has generated coverage by the Mississauga News, Brain Injury Association and Hospital News. http://mindlessdoodle.ca/
LISA ANITA WEGNER is the creative producer of Mighty Brave Productions, a small award-winning multi-media production company based in Toronto. She has been exploring film, video, post-production photography and performance art for over twenty years, with an emphasis on emotional authenticity, collaboration, and – since experiencing a PTSD-related breakdown, the possibilities of art as therapy. Her work has been shown at the Phoenix Art Museum, the Art Gallery of Ontario, Gallery 1313, Moniker Gallery, Toronto Art Fair, Buddies in Bad Times, The Black Cat Artspace, NXNE Festival, Partners In Art’s ARTrageous In Motion, Scotiabank Nuit Blanche and, most recently, at the RAW Sensory show at Toronto’s Mod Club. www.lisaismightybrave.com
Tags: angela chao, art, brain injury, Canadian Art, Concussion, lisa anita wegner, pan am games, ptsd, RICHVIEW LIBRARY, therapy art, Trauma Therapy Art
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- Posted under art installation ideas, art therapy, film and art, thin(k) blank human
April 13, 2015 Art Therapy by Angela Chao at Gallery1313
In 2003, when I was just starting to make films, Angela Chao was in the camera department of my first two projects. After reconnecting last year, I fell in love with Angela’s fanciful painting and drawing on social media. Angela had found art-making as therapy and I was moved by her story as well her art. Her work was bright, bold and authentic and she created endlessly and freely. And Angela herself is so sweet and authentic – I particularly love how she snaps a picture to remember all her buyers.
“Mindless Doodles” is the second therapy installation that I’ve brought to my curation at 1313. I find that this type of work resounds with me as my own art career was born in the trauma therapy art room, and my daily art practice is what keeps me functioning. Angela and I have an understanding of art as something we need on a daily basis, to nourish our souls and stay connected to our true selves. And though the stories of our traumas are so different, the way we use our art is very similar. We understand each other’s specific trauma-based needs and refer to each other as Brain Buddies; and we’re both keen to spread awareness and help others discover art as a viable option as therapy.
When the April Windoxbox became open unexpectedly, I was thrilled that Angela was able to bring a selection of her ceramics and her “20 minute” feeling paintings to fill the window gallery at Queen Street’s Gallery 1313.
As well as bringing her work to Gallery 1313, Angela and I have started a series of collaborations including working with my performing persona, Thin(k) Blank Human. This summer is our inaugural exhibit together for The City of Toronto, for The Pan Am/Para Pan Am Games. Our collaborations will be under the moniker Art Saves Lives.
I invite you to come to Angela’s opening this Thursday at 1313a Queen Street West at Brock Ave. 8pm – 10pm is open to the public. If you want to come at 7pm and have a drink, you have to private message me. Angela’s work will be shown until April 28th 2015.
About the “Mindless Doodles” Exhibit:
The installation “Mindless Doodles Art Therapy” in Gallery 1313’s Window Box space for the month of April dives into the life of Canadian filmmaker, Angela Chao, who uses the term Mindless Doodles to denote the images she sees that are not pre-conceived or arranged. These doodles come straight from the emotions and sensations of her current “crazy brain,” the result of three on-set concussions she has suffered over the past one and a half years.
After trying many types of therapy, she found HandsForHealth.ca and cranio-therapist Edwin Galeano, with whom – after just one session – Angela found herself able to think freely and begin to escape the personality and mental changes, PTSD, depression and anxiety that had plagued her since her accidents. Even more exhilarating, she could sit still and accomplish things, an ability to that had been taken from her. She started doodling and discovered her hidden artist, and a place where she can leave behind mental challenges and be free to create.
Angela Chao’s work can be seen at Mindlessdoodle.ca For private viewing or commission art, please contact Angela at info@mindlessdoodle.ca.
Angela + Thin(k) Blank Human
Tags: angela chao, art, art as therapy, art saves lives, art therapy, canadian, collaborations, gallery 1313, lisa anita wegner, mindless doodles, pan am games, phil anderson, toronto art openings, Windowbox
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February 20, 2015 Gallery 1313’s March Windowbox looks into lineages in Canadian photographic history
February 20 2015
TINY [a group show] was in the works for six months for the Windowbox at Gallery 1313 and as I was imagining hanging all the glorious miniature work so high and far from viewers eyes, I realized that I was lost in my own cleverness. I decided to take these twelve artists’ amazing work to a new social art space being built now. A Whisky/ Bourbon/ Expresso Bar that I will be curating next season is a good fit where I can hang it in a corner or place it in a nifty cabinet. There it makes sense. Not as clever but so much better.
As if by magic the day the March Windowbox slot was open artist Phuong Nguyen (who seems to know everyone) emailed me and asked if I’d be open to a proposal for that very space. Why yes I would Phuong, yes I would.
I immediately enjoyed artist Greg McCarthy and his work. http://www.gregmccarthy.ca/
His pieces feel free and I resonate with the artiface and playfulness combination. When I saw his set ups, I felt confident that he could craft a great idea into the unusually shaped gallery space for me. When I went to his studio and he showed me his colleagues’s work and his very open and enthusiastic attitude to his art, I knew I made the right decision. A fellow life enthusiast, he is just as stoked about other artist’s work this makes me feel comfortable.
I was tickled when the piece he wanted to bring to Gallery1313, was the very piece that I chose to post for my announcement that I was working with him. Fake snow!
Not having had a great experience in my own artistic education (I am a York Theatre School drop out) it was a breath of fresh air to see the Thesis Studio at OCAD and all the unbridled creativity being fostered in there. 
My last two Windowbox pieces were non-traditional: collaboration with Nolan a five year old child and an Anonymous and an out-patient at Women’s College Trauma Therapy Department. I am happy to present a dyed-in-the-wool artist, Greg McCarthy. I am proud to present his re-imagining of his piece SPECTRE.
Original Piece by GregMcCarthy
The installation Spectre in Gallery 1313’s window space looks into lineages in Canadian photographic history and how they affect the present. By creating collaged and edited versions of William Notman’s original studio setups and presenting them in a way that highlights the artifice of the image, the works look to re-examine the way in which we relate to our own histories, and the role that they play in shaping the present.
Notman’s images and others like them are so ingrained into Canadian culture that I feel as though they are due for a second appraisal, an examination into all that they connote in a contemporary context. From the iconic images of blissful figure skaters to intrepid caribou hunters, these images not only carry with them a romanticized view of a bygone era, but a history of how many Canadians chose to be depicted in the nation’s early years. They speak to the performativity of national identity and an idealization of what it meant at the time to be Canadian.
Spectre takes the provisional quality of Notman’s original setups and takes it to a hyperbolized extreme, the verisimilitude of the original falls away leaving the viewer with a stripped down copy of the original, a failed attempt at recreating the past. As gallery goers pass the figure looking down on them from the window they are asked to consider the history of what they will see inside and to consider what changes will need to be made as we move forward.
Lisa Anita Wegner, curator for Windowbox Gallery1313
Tags: art, canadian photography, Expresso Bar, gallery 1313, greg mccarthy, lisa anita wegner, ocad thesis, photography, phuong nguyen, Windowbox
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January 28, 2015 sometimes my brain stops working
the first week after my full time trauma therapy ended, i did a pretty good job of mostly rest and self care. doing just the basics to get ready for my upcoming exhibits and performances.
last night i slept from 5:30 pm to 10:30am (whoa) and then today my brain could barely chug itself around making a cup of coffee. i was confused all day and stressed because there were a few small details i had to figure out. i needed to call in a friend to help and now i am ready for the rest of the week, and i can mostly rest. my cognition can still drop out and then i feel like i can’t wrap my brain around much besides cuddling my dogs and making stuff.
i feel a little better now that i made this picture. and wrote this. making stuff is really the only way through for me.
Tags: art, art is for me, art therapy, brain injury, cognition, creative flow, exhausted, exhaustion, lisa anita wegner, trauma therapy, women's college hospital
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October 13, 2014 Artist Would Rather Give Ownership of Her Work to Those Who Inspire, Than Those Who Can Pay.
Artist Lisa Anita Wegner has had a wave of unexpected financial success when Haus of Dada started offering LAW Thought Certificates for sale. Originally priced at a mere $200 to think about Lisa, when they were announced as available the price shot up to sell at over a thousand times their original value.
An anonymous German collector was thrilled that he holds the first gallery sanctified thought, purchased at $300,000 CDN. He owns the thought of Lisa Anita Wegner in her signature white suit for 2014. “Many others are allowed to think it, but I own it- I paid for it” the collector boasts.“We don’t want Lisa saturating people’s minds, we want them wanting more. So we will stop the sales next week and then “Memories of LAW” ownership certificates can only be viewed be during upcoming March 9th performance at the Museum of Modern Art or next season as a guest performance at the Art Gallery of Ontatrio” says her manager who goes by his street name Wheels. 
Unexpectedly the first week of October, Haus of Dada stopped the sale of these thought certificates and Lisa insisted the 3.3 Million CDN be divided amongst local charities.
“All this wealth flashed around felt creepy,” admitted Lisa, who will now be giving these valuable Thought Certificates to people who have directly inspired her. “If these folks want to cash them in, that is up to them. It is a gift.”
Bruce Willis poses with a rare shot of a LAW Thought Certificate. “I’ll never let this piece go.” Declares Willis
So artists, art patrons, curators and media are all waiting to see who is chosen to receive these valuable pieces of paper. “Finances will have nothing to do with it. They go to those who have given me something much more valuable than money. Inspiration and human connection.” says Lisa with a big smile.
October 13, 2014 Fritz Snitz for Haus of Dada
Tags: art, Art Collectors, Fritz Snitz, haus of dada, LAW, lisa anita wegner, performance art
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- Posted under art installation ideas, comedy, film and art, Love Letters
September 8, 2014 A Different Part of my Brain Activated: Successful Shoot for Gendai Gallery & Reel Asian Film Festival
Tags: actra, art, art for healing, art therapy, fern downy, gendai gallery, lisa anita wegner, model minority, performing, reel asian film festival, trauma therapy, will kwan
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July 20, 2014 Whole Milk and Cocaine: Making Spectacle of Stardust at The Black Cat
Wanda and I doing makeup test.
Sneak peek at Vanessa Lee Wishart’s glorious rainbow gown for closing party
Tags: androgyny, art, art gallery, art therapy, art video, art videos, david bowie, gender, hair and makeup, haus of dada, intern, life on jupiter, life on mars?, lisa anita wegner, maha rich, medical art, performance art, performance art piece, the black cat, transformation, wanda macrae, ziggy stardust
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- Posted under art installation ideas, dada lab experiments, film and art, Stardust
July 2, 2014 The only thing missing is you #WINDOWBOXSELFIE
To embrace the high angle and tall shape of The Window Box I found myself looking up into the empty Gallery 1313 Window Box space while contemplating what I wanted to fill it with. While I was contemplating someone took a picture of me. I have been fascinated by the fact that so many Smart Phone users now choose to interact with the world through the lens of their phones, constantly taking photos and video of everything that they experience and interact with. Even more fascinating is their desire, at events such as concerts, to take pictures of themselves with the action in the background, with this seemingly as important a part of the event as witnessing it firsthand. As an installation and performance artist, I have been struck by how a good 80% of the audience opt to look at my work through their phones.
The installation #windowboxselfie that will be in Gallery 1313’s Window Box during July of 2014, is designed to play on this compulsion, creating an invitation to its viewers to create a self-portrait while they take a picture of an art installation. The round mirror angled toward the viewer shows their face while jewel-tone film gels create a halo around their face. Mirror film with RoscoFlex S lighting gel creates a surreal reflective surface, giving the viewer a playful saint-like self-portrait created from their own reflection, in a celebration of the self made possible through new technology.
The title #windowboxselfie is printed in on the glass front of the Window Box so that it will be captured in each photo taken; and this will result in the Window Box exhibition space itself proliferating in self-portraits posted on social media.
Through the artist’s and Gallery 1313’s online social media, there will also be opportunities for viewers to see the best of submitted selfies, and vote for those they like best in various categories, continuing the interactive nature of the installation.
#windowboxselfie was created by Lisa Anita Wegner, and continues the trends of her recent art practice in its use of found objects, and the theme of reflection. This installation in particular focuses on using film expendables for the majority of its construction, creating extra layers of meaning in using film supplies to create a ‘set’ that then encourages people to make their own ‘filmic’ records.
Construction and design expertise was provided by Nikolai Berda of Longbranch Design, a company which specializes in providing design solutions for professionals in various creative fields. This is the third collaboration between Lisa Anita Wegner and Longbranch Design, with their design and fabrication skills having previously brought her installations for ScotiaBank Nuit Blanche 2013 and ARTrageous Art In Motion 2014 to life.
Materials for the installation have been supplied by The Haus of Dada, Lisa Anita Wegner’s film and art collective, with additional funding provided by Partners In Art. Process video by Lisa Anita Wegner
We encourage taking and tagging of #WINDOWBOXSELFIE selfies. We will choose from the most interesting ones and prizes will be awarded and at the end of the month. So come to Gallery1313 at 1313 Queen Street West, take a look into the mirrors and take a picture of yourself.
The only thing missing is you.
Here is a short video of how we made it
Taking a Selfie Has More to Do With Self Worth Than You Realize: Read what Molly Fosco at Huffington Post has to say
#WINDOWBOXSELFIE
instagram @gallery1313 @lisa_anita_wegner @longbranchdesign
Tags: #windowboxselfie, art, art gallery, art installation, art installations, art is for me, art process, creative process, gallery, gallery 1313, lisa anita wegner, Longbranch Design, nikolai berda, phil anderson, process art, queen street west, rethinking possible, selfie, Toronto, video art, window art, Window Box
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May 15, 2014 Life on Jupiter? Me & Ziggy
I tell people all the time that I meditate but so far I’ve laid pretty low about my meditation buddy Ziggy Stardust. It sheds light on my fascination, for those interested in such shedding.
Tags: 1973, art, artist, david bowie, fascination, haus of dada, inspiration, joy, life on jupiter, life on mars?, lisa anita wegner, meditation, performance art, performance artist, spiders from mars, the black cat, the life and death of piggy stardust, Toronto, wanda macrae, ziggy stardust
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- Posted under art installation ideas, dada lab experiments, film and art, Love Letters
February 16, 2014 The Triangular LAW of a Freedom Junkie
I am thrilled to bring one facet of the TRIANGLE ascension experience to the opening of DIGITIZE, a show running at Moniker Gallery March 6-12. Come March 6th 7pm -11pm see all the art and ascend with me in my multi projector experience.
Here is a taste of the inaugural blastoff that was Feb 1st at Belljar.
TRIANGLE is a three location ascension experience with blastoff being October2014. The triangle is an ancient symbol used to meditate on ascension, as a conduit for higher energies, and as a cosmic aerial to receive the frequency of a higher realm. A triangle opens your third eye. Come be a part of 3 distinct sound and projection environments with timed performances by the artist who will be your Guide, ensuring your comfort during your intergalactic travel. The TRIANGLE will be located between 2186 Dundas -an art hub- The Belljar Bar and Cafe -a social hub- and Lisa Anita Wegner’s studio -an imagination hub- which closes the triangle.
Come and experience TRIANGLE, where everything mundane will be transformed into the marvelous. As all space and time exist in one moment, travel in and out is accessible to those who use the vehicle of the triangle.
Born from my Dada dream lab experiments, TRIANGLE began with the notion that with imagination, the mundane can transformed into marvellous. The various video images start with mundane footage, a flower, my feet walking, a few seconds of an octopus shooting ink. Through layering and playing with timeline I create what I call video studies. They are an everyday part of my art practise, a visual diary.
My art practice has a focus on re-birth, redemption, transformation, and process work, using a multi-media approach that fearlessly probes for the truth, richness and hard-won lessons from my personal journey over the past half-decade that has confonted me with extraordinary difficulties. Emerging from my personal darkness, I have come to love rhythm and repetition both on and off beats; as well as the beauty and possibilities of found objects – even with technology. I work with a pastiche of donated equipment, and have embraced both the imperfections and new creative possibilities that result.
While spending time at three venues, I noticed that my studio, The Belljar Cafe, and 2186 Dundas gallery were located in a triangle. When I started researching the three-angled shape, TRIANGLE was born.
I am experimenting with a performing persona who lives outside the space/ time continuum. For TRIANGLE she will be the Guide, walking earthlings from one venue to another while performing in each projection once every hour. She wears a dress made from da-lite project screens and all her exposed skin is covered with white makeup.
My current body of work includes Dada Lab Experiments in which a multimedia “history” is created through spontaneous exploration for both myself and Haus of Dada, my studio. A silent black and white film titled Sunbathing on Mars 1916 is the backbone of this multi-year project. This for me is the ultimate creative freedom. As a trauma survivor, there is something cathartic in the ability to recreate myself and revise my history; and now TRIANGLE will be the first stage in inventing my future.
Tags: art, art installation, art projections, belljar cafe, blastoff, lisa anita wegner, moniker gallery, projection, projection womb, sacred geometry, triangle, vonliptov
December 28, 2013 venus is in the haus
countdown:
6 peanut butter balls left in the whole tin
5 days to the haus of dada happening
4 cookies fit in my mouth at once
3 rear projection screens fitted, cut and edged
2 video playlist curated, created, tested and ready to screen
1 new idea, set-up, experience and the documentation of it
0 things left to do
333
perhaps an ongoing series of happenings?
333
i’m heading outside for a spin around the ‘hood with the canine component
venus is in the haus, of dada
❤
Tags: art, artist, filmmaker, films, haus of dada, lisa anita wegner, mighty brave productions, peanut butter balls
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August 27, 2012 using daily art and introspection to remodel my brain
today i have a list of tasks to do for my films and for my upcoming art installation. this morning i realized my brain was not in place to do this. after a long work week last week and judging an art competition on the weekend i could feel my cognition slip and no matter how many times it happens, it is still scary. i know i have to not fight it, relax, do what i can and let it come back. in a fews hours of slipping cognition my body starts shooting adrenaline from the fear and badda boom i’m slipping in and out of crippling panic. sometimes i can’t breathe and get a cold sweat. once that happens i have to go back to basics and breathe. then the extreme fatigue sets in. then i have to talk myself through a few rituals; making coffee; brushing my teeth; showering, walking my dogs; making art. i have realized it’s impossible to think myself out of the hole, but i can focus on other things that grab me. i have found documentaries on brain, communication and consciousness and art can grab me.
because i am now working with a deadline i have to make my day work and then preparing my brain to do my tasks then becomes my work. the stress of not having the cognitive abilities to do simple things, while there is a deadline… can be… well deadly.
first of all the other day i decided to bring on an experienced production manager named sarah. this on the whole was a nice big step toward productivity because once i have downloaded the project into her brain (her expression) then i have another knowledgable problem solver with me. in the past weeks i have tried to set up a volunteer to help me but it ended up being too stressful for my current situation.
so today i have a short list of tasks (financing and creative) and at the moment they are written down on a list and as i’ve been working my way out of my brain hole, some solutions have already come to mind. right now they are fuzzy but i trust they are there. this manoeuver is basically an act of faith. it helps for me to picture the event im working toward, visualize the films looking gorgeous and sounding sharp. and the event going silky smooth and inspiring people.
then i made a picture of how i feel right now. this morning’s picture is called signal interrupted for obvious reasons. and then i decided to write this blog. i feel like i am both parent and toddler. i need to be entertained and distracted and then be ready and focused when my brain is prepped.
i need to stay in the moment and not look at the time. i need to know that i can do this and the pathway i have found through art making and now blogging is the safest way through.
the good thing is that once i can rig jig my brain to be able to do my tasks, i am so focussed that i go through them quickly and deliberately simply. and once i get through the list the relief feels like christmas morning.
i’m going to make some more art to figure out where i am at now. and then i can sneak the work in. i have been at this process figuring out a systematic approach for years now and this is the first larger scale project that i have taken on since getting sick in 2008.
i feel this is the path i will take to get back into full time film production, while it can be a tiring amount of work it actually steam lines things for me. i do think i need a full time volunteer assistant until i can bring someone onboard full time.
yay the ever changing brain,
lisa anita wegner
Tags: art, art therapy, artist, brain injury, film production, iisa anita wegner
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Lisa Anita Wegner 
